Sometimes it’s not unusual that someone feels stuck watching porn and trying to masturbate while they keep taking drugs on their own, spending hours and hours involved in this practice without knowing how to stop. It can be because they prefer not to meet anyone and prefer to get high on their own, or because they can’t find someone else, or perhaps because they have been with people but now they are back home, or the person who was with them left a while ago and they don’t think that meeting someone else is a good idea.

In these scenarios, they can see themselves jumping from one porn movie to another one, trying to find the perfect exciting scene, in a messy environment, hour after hour without knowing how to stop. If this is familiar to you, there are some ideas that can be helpful:

  • Try to remember that at some point, you will have to stop. It can be in one hour or it can be in 12 hours time, it’s just a matter of time. Clearly, the longer you spend in front of your computer taking drugs, the higher price you will have to pay after: tiredness, higher levels of challenging feelings such as shame or guilt, or regret, etc.
  • If your plan is to start to come down, stopping taking Chems is the first thing you will have to do. The sooner you stop, the sooner you will start to feel tired and the sooner you will finish. If this is your case, but you want to start to come down while watching some porn, make an effort and try to drink and eat something while you watch it. Psychologically you will slowly start to become mentally ready to finish, and it will become much easier than if you keep taking Chems.
  • Be aware that the perfect exciting scene doesn’t exist. Dissatisfaction is a very common feeling when we talk about Chems, and jumping from one movie to another one is an example of this. The scene that you might be seeing now is as exciting or as unexciting as the one you can be watching in 6 hours time.
  • Porn can be very helpful for us not to think too much, and sometimes we delay masturbating because this activity is the only thing that comes to our mind about what you can do while being still high. This fear of not knowing what to do, having to address difficult emotions such as loneliness or guilt, is what keeps us there, and that is very scary. This is why it is very often helpful to set a plan about what you can do once you stop; breathe, take 2 minutes and prepare it: try to masturbate quickly to be able to move forward, and if you can’t or it’s difficult for you even to get hard, set a time limit for you to keep watching porn. This plan needs to explore what you are going to do once you stop: you can write down your feelings or write a letter to yourself (usually this is a very comforting activity, giving ourselves the opportunity to express what we have in our hearts), you can clean the house or do some gardening, you can have a warm relaxing bath or a long shower with your favourite music and candles; anything that you can do in order to move forward. 

Be aware that often, the most difficult moment is the first moment when you stop playing porn. This is why having a distracting activity ready for that moment to engage with it what can help you to do it. After that moment, when you have moved forward, things will become easier.