ESTABLISHING BOUNDARIES:

  • Outline your boundaries at the start. If a client crosses one, what others might they cross?
  • "The Buddy System" is the practice of you telling a friend where you are and, if possible, your client's details, with the expectation of you calling back once you are in a safe environment, otherwise they will travel to the location to check if you are ok. This is often done so the client or brothel manager is aware a buddy is looking out for you. There may be codewords communicating ‘something is wrong, call for help’.
  • Most brothels do not allow chems use and mandate condom use, but some provide incall and outcall services where these standards are occasionally pushed by clients.
  • When offering drug or chem sessions with clients, it's important to establish work/play boundaries.
  • Separate times you make money from your partying, such weekdays vs. weekends or set days you keep for. Alternatively, only using chems in your personal life OR when you are meeting a client.
  • Instead of chems sessions some offer 'sober sex confidence sessions' aiming to provide trigger-free intimacy for clients in recovery.
  • Be cautious if partying with first-time clients, everyone reacts differently to substances.
  • Only accept payment in money instead of in chems, for their quality control.
  • Be aware of and avoid new substances on the scene when with a client.
  • Recognize and leave triggering environments or networks to avoid dependence on substances building up.
  • Telling yourself "I can handle it, others don't know their limits" is how all habitual use is rationalized.
  • Regularly ask yourself, 'Does *seeking support* trigger feelings of identity anxiety, more than pride in your self-awareness?' If anxiety to support is unchecked, what could prevent chems in your life getting unmanageable?
  • If you are expected to climax, consider practicing how you might fake it or an alternative if your body were unable.
  • Prepare ahead what you would do and would say no to if your body were not performing for a session. E.g. having an alternative lined up redirecting focus without that body pressure.
  • If you are given free chems ensure they know it is a gift, without you then owing them something in return. Outside of kink roleplay, feeling owned can lead to depression.

ANTI-SPIKING TIPS:

  • Bring your own chems and drinks. Make small amounts, so if the drink could have been spiked out of sight you can throw it out and remake it.
  • Don’t leave drinks or chems unattended. If they were, replace it as potentially spiked, regardless of your gender. Recall the UK’s worst perpetrator of this practice targeted random men.
  • Watch out for non-consensual blowback kisses (blowing Tina smoke into your mouth).
  • Watch out for substances on their bum or genitals placed there to affect you non-consensually.
  • Bring a few types of your own lube, so they can't have a preference to get you using theirs, which could be spiked.

 

CHEMS GOING WRONG TIPS

  • If a client experiences psychosis, communicate calmly and clearly, take them to a calm environment away from the sex setting, with TV /music turned off. Call 999 if necessary.
  • Carry Naloxone as a precaution against overdosing on opioids (such as heroin or fentanyl).
  • If a client overdoses, don't leave them alone. Walk them around, keep them awake if unconscious, put them in the recovery position, call for help.
  • The presence of chems, or sexual service situations (most aren't illegal in the UK) does NOT mean ambulances report them to the police or other services.
  • Struggle to find sex exciting without the use of chems, but currently need the extra money from hookup-for-reward on chems sessions? Consider trying to earn and save enough to enable doing it without chems to get your body used to how it is again, even if for a week or so. The more familiar the feeling is again, the more reliable your body will be.
  • Explore the chems harm-reduction advice here, it’s easy for your information to become outdated without you being aware.

 

SAFER SEX TIPS:

  • “PrEP” is a pill routine that people who don't live with HIV can use to prevent them acquiring HIV, it is a useful failsafe for anyone having sex regularly. It is available for free from the NHS and you can arrange to access it via your sexual health clinic.
  • After exposure to HIV you can go to an A&E or sexual health clinic and ask for "PEP", a month-long course to try to reverse the new acquisition. It must be started within 72 hours of exposure. The sooner it’s taken, the better the chances of success.
  • People living with HIV maintaining effective treatment are Undetectable, meaning their HIV cannot be passed on sexually.
  • "Window Periods" refers to the time taken before an STI exposure could react on a test result. It is unique to each test type used, impacting which clients and sexual partners need notifying to get tested. Clinics can do anonymous notifications for you if requested.
  • Maintain a record of sexual encounters and contact information for a year. This way, if you test positive for an STI later, relevant individuals can be notified to get tested. The notification will go back to your previous negative result for that STI and continue further back for the duration of the Window Period for that STI’s test type.
  • "Shedding Durations" refers to the time after STI treatment where tests would still be reacting to the treated STI. It will affect how accurately you are aware of an STI.
  • HPV vaccination ahead of exposure to different strains can prevent later need for cancer treatments of the cervix, anus, penis or throat, and can prevent genital warts. The vaccination is available to all genders from the NHS.
  • Some vaccines that others just like you found useful include the Hep B vaccine, Hep A vaccine, Covid vaccine, Mpox vaccine.
  • Explore the sexual health advice here, it’s easy for your information to become outdated without you being aware.

 

LEGAL RISK TIPS (UK):

  • Avoid bringing substances for a client. The law would consider you a dealer, whereby the legal risks increase hugely.
  • The presence of chems or sexual service situations does NOT mean ambulances report them to the police or other services.
  • You can access legal advice via the trade union "Sex Workers Union", who welcomes those offering erotic massage, gogos, porn performers, adult content-creators, professional doms, escorts, cam models & people who hookup for reward.
  • Being in a trade union before an incident makes it simpler for the union to respond fast when needed.
  • You can collectively organise within the union, resisting corporate policies or laws that impact you negatively. Someday, malpractice from a brothel manager could result in you taking them to court.


POLICE RAIDS (UK)

  • Clients are not breaking the law. Politely ask them to get dressed.
  • Ask "Am I being detained?" If the answer is no, you are free to leave.
  • Put money and phones in your personal bag; they can't search it without permission unless you're being arrested.
  • Get dressed, as you're unlikely to be arrested.
  • You don't have to give your legal name or ID.
  • Ask officers for their ID and note down their names and badge numbers.
  • Ask officers "What powers are you using?" to understand the purpose of the visit.
  • Welfare Check: Assure them you're safe and not being forced to work. Say "no comment" if asked about work and other workers.
  • Modern Slavery Raid: You have the right to work in the UK. You don't need to answer questions. If not detained, leave; if detained, ask for a lawyer.
  • Brothel Raid: Say "no comment" to all questions, especially about working patterns and leadership.
  • You don't need to provide any information, including your name.
  • Don't answer questions about other workers. Keep everyone's identities confidential.
  • Selling sex is not illegal, and you cannot be arrested for it. Say "no comment" to avoid misunderstandings."

 

FINANCIAL RISK TIPS:

  • Accepting payments upfront and taking deposits to arrange time and cover travel costs reduce chances of being unpaid.
  • Budgeting is essential if partying with a client: keep track of how much you spent vs. profits you are actually left with. Think about how long chems would stay in your system and whether you are being paid for all that time or only for an hour (e.g.).
  • If you feel you need to be high to earn this money, but you spent the money on getting high, where is the moment when it becomes not worth doing?
  • Concerned about robbery or spending your reward while high? Only bring the cash you intend to use that time, arranging client payment to be received in other ways.
  • Consider bringing a stamped and addressed envelope when out partying with a client, so you can store cash you don't want to use in the envelope and mail it to yourself at a postbox. Be cautious of risks of the client seeing your address/PO box or a mail handler taking any obvious cash envelopes.
  • For online transactions such as taking deposits consider using a burner PayPal account with details you don’t mind a client seeing but transferring money from it to your main one for withdrawals to your bank.
  • Be aware that PayPal would close your account if they learn what these payments are for.
  • Transfer funds straight away to a main PayPal account to avoid ‘chargeback’ robbery.
  • PayPal burner accounts need to be under a threshold amount (which varies) before ID verification is requested. Verification prevents the use of other names for your security, as names appear on transactions.

 

WANTING CHANGE TIPS:

  • Many found useful to be assessed for neurodivergence for advice on handling it. Some neurodivergence can also affect relationships to substances, e.g. ADHD is a lack of dopamine production.
  • Many found useful to access therapy to overcome anything holding them back, such as trauma, hidden fears of failure, or internalized negativity etc.
  • If you are wanting change but keep facing rejection, consider asking someone who can help with tasks like your CV or cover letters. Maybe AI could help with wording.
  • If you can afford it, reverse-recruiting can apply for civilian jobs for you if it is overwhelming you.
  • Consider finding work within a comfort zone that you can hold down while applying for or training for the jobs you really want if you're facing repeated rejection in a job search.
  • The Citizens Advice Bureau can help you determine if you're eligible for financial support due to a disability, neurodivergence, being a carer or based on your income level.

 

USEFUL RESOURCES:

 

We want to thank JASON DOMINO very deeply for helping so much with the preparation of this document. Jason is a UK sexual health and wellbeing advocate, sex work activist and porn star. He is also a notable member of The Sex Workers Union

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